I don’t feel like the dust has settled enough around here for me to make any grand, sweeping proclamations about life with two kids but I think I like it. There are moments of crazy, there have been days I wonder how I will get dinner on the table or whether Shiloh will sleep long enough for me to play with Will for more than 10 minutes at a time. There was the time Chris had to work until 9pm before Shiloh was 3 weeks old while I had two sick kids at home. There was yesterday in which Shiloh screamed whenever I put her down and refused to nap anywhere but in her Moby wrap strapped firmly to my chest.
But there have also been days when I’ve baked bread, cooked dinner, squeezed in 20 minutes of exercise on our living room floor, edited photos from a friend’s Indian wedding/vow renewal last weekend and constructed train tunnels out of old oatmeal containers.
And I think the beauty of being a mother for the second time now is knowing that neither the good days nor the bad days are permanent. “This too shall pass” and often much faster than seems possible in the heat of the moment. There is less stress this time around over the hard moments and more savoring of the good ones.
We’ve been cooped up for weeks with bad air and badly in need of a respite, but yesterday the sun shone and I could see clearly to the end of our block. I needed to top off my cellphone and, since Shiloh wasn’t going to stop fussing until I strapped her bodily to me anyway, I buckled Will into our dusty stroller with a snack and the promise that he could buy “2 red flowers” and we headed to the local market for some foliage and 500 rupees of talk time.
I said it after China and I’ll say it here again I guess: I’ll never take clean air and blue skies for granted again for the rest of my life. I will also never take for granted the ability to go out for a walk with the kids without dodging cars, monkeys and stray dogs along the way. I will cringe for awhile thinking about how close that bus came to Will’s stroller yesterday. Eeesh.
But let it also be said that when we leave in India this summer, there will be so many things I will miss: the ability to fill the house with fresh flowers without breaking the bank, the colors, the smell of fried dough and spices wafting in the air at tea time and the fact that even a simple trip to the cellphone stall a half a mile away can take over an hour and still–after all of our time here–feel like an adventure for me and mine.